21 Days of Prayer/Journaling - Day 1 - "Whispers"

My church has created a challenge. 21 Days of Prayer and Journaling. For 21 days, the entire congregation will talk to God and create journals to see how the 21 days of prayer will change us.

I don't consider myself a person who prays a lot. I don't bow my head, close my eyes, fold my hands, and "pray". However, I do talk to God... A LOT! And I think that is the point. Praying doesn't have to be this stained glass act. Instead, it is a way to build a relationship with God. You can't build a relationship with anyone if you don't talk to them, right?!

So the challenge begins... Have a meaningful conversation with God every day for 21 days. Let Him know how my day is going, tell him my fears, my achievements, and even the mundane details. Basically, tell Him the same things that I would tell my spouse or my best friend, or my sister. Besides, my relationship with God is more important than any relationship I have on this earth. He is the one who gave me my spouse, my best friend, and my sister!

My conversation with God today consisted of a lot of Thanks! God has given me a lot to be thankful for. I have an amazing husband who loves me, I have a wonderful home, two very funny dogs, and a great job that I enjoy. These are just a few things that I am thankful for. I could list a million other things that I have been blessed with, but I'm not going to bore you with all of them. :)

I also thanked God for allowing me to "hear" him. There has been twice in my life that I could "hear" God. It wasn't an audible "voice" that I heard. It was more of a prompting in my heart. A whisper. The first had to do with a life changing decision. I sat alone in my Jeep in an empty parking lot at 11:00 at night. I cried out, asking God to tell me what to do. At that moment, I felt the prompting in my heart that told me which way to go. I knew it was God because it wasn't the easy choice.  It was the hardest thing I had to do up to that date. However, I did it and soon realized that God had better things waiting for me.

The second time was when I was crying out to God about a medical condition I have. It is a condition that was diagnosed 6 years ago and I will most likely have to deal with it for the rest of my life. It causes a lot of pain and many other issues. Since my diagnosis, this condition has caused me to have 3 surgeries and two hormone treatments putting me into a temporary menopause. I remember crying out to God, telling Him that this just isn't fair! I was angry and I wanted Him to know it! I was tired of hurting and I just wanted Him to take away the pain. I had tears pouring down my face when I suddenly felt a peace come over me like a warm blanket. I could feel God wrapping His arms around me and cradling me. And again, there was this prompting in my heart. I could feel His love. At that moment I knew that, although He wasn't going to take this ailment from me, He will always be there to comfort me. The feeling I had was like wrapping up in your daddy's arms after falling and skinning your knees as a child. The wounds were still there and there was still pain. But for a moment the pain disappeared because you were with someone that you know loves you and would take away the pain if he could.

The moments I have had are so intimate and beautiful that it is almost hard to share them with others. However, I think it is important to understand that God doesn't "talk" like you and I talk. The best example I have of this is in my favorite verse of the bible, 1 Kings 19: 11-13.

¹¹ “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave."

You see... God wasn't in the windstorm, or the earthquake, or the fire. He was the gentle whisper! He is not here to yell and scream at you. He wants to whisper to you and whispers, by design, are intimate. You can't hear a whisper if you aren't standing close enough to hear! You can't hear a whisper if you aren't listening closely! I often long to "hear" God again. However, I only "hear" God when I get myself out of the way to get near enough to Him to listen to the whispers.